LFW : Marchesa Spring 2015 Collection

When Marchesa was announced to no longer be showing at New York Fashion Week, I wasn’t exactly crying any tears over the news. I did, however, feel a bit bad for London Fashion Week as the new host of their over-the-top designs that continue to the toe the line of girlie v. actually intended for the little girls. You never see me posting negative reviews because for the most part – I LOVE high fashion. If a collection doesn’t particularly wow me I just let it go. But Marchesa continues to dumbfound me because for whatever reason, they’ve literally got girls everywhere thinking what they ship down the runway is chic.

To which I say, Huh?

I actually watched the live-feed of this show while simmering soup in the kitchen. The feed didn’t name the designer – but after the first look came down the runway I immediately knew who we were dealing with: Marchesa. Allow me to present Look 1 (far left):

See, I’m never quite sure if these women are being serious. I mean, obviously no one would expect to be taken seriously with skirts flapping in the wind every 6 inches down their leg. Right?

The collection has an obvious ‘flare’ of Gypsy – which is an interesting idea, but in true Marchesa fashion things go from a cool concept to a really whacked out reality.

There are two big things I think Marchesa should really stop doing:

1. This constant look of floral moss. These over-the-top ornate gowns don’t look delicate or elegant, instead they look like your body is growing some sort of fungus. And who thought mixing floral fungus with an out-of-place black abdomen was a good idea?

2. Enough of the frilly bullsh*t! These clothes are for GROWN WOMEN! No woman, no matter who, what, when, where or why – is ever going to be taken seriously in some nonsense frilly frock. And since women as a whole have to fight 5 times harder than a man to be taken seriously, why would we start this battle on an uphill climb? And not like a gradual slope – I mean a super steep mountain!

What’s going on here in terms of silhouettes? We’ve got a white tank that looks like someone threw darts at it with old tissues and then there are balloon sleeves. As if those are perplexing enough we throw in some random birds. The odd and end birds remind me of The Hunger Games, except that the Mockingjay trailer has actual context and reason for a bird. What is the reason here? How does that tie into a Gypsy theme? How does that fit into a floral theme? Or a used tissue theme? Where did these birds come from and why are they here?

And more importantly, since they ARE here, why can’t we at least use quality materials and a professional seamstress to put together the garments? Because these look pretty amateur to me – and London Fashion Week should not be a place for amateurs!

I seriously just can’t with the far left look. The middle look is HORRIBLY styled. It’s possibly an okay skirt-but paired with a confused and uninspired blouse everything looks really thrown together. And as for the gypsy princess – at least she’s not wearing a fringe hula skirt like the girl on the left. It’s not great, but yea – fringed hula skirts are a big no-no as far I can tell.

And of course it wouldn’t be a Marchesa show without models drowning in tulle and flower crowns. These both look like really bad craft projects from Hobby Lobby.

I just don’t get it. I don’t get it at all. Marchesa did surprise me with a rather pretty Resort 2015 Collection – but now I know it was absolutely not going to last. They couldn’t stray too far from the painfully overdone and frilly decor . You know, the decor that’s got flower wallpaper with flower embroidering, lamp shades, curtains, and on. It’s just nauseatingly sweet. It’s like designers Georgina Chapman and Keren believe in unicorns, fairy dust and pink clouds (or something).

It’s just really hard for me to take them seriously, okay?

Sure, if these floral looks were for the floral girl in a wedding they might be charming. But on grown adults, it seems like a desperate plea for fairyland to be real.

What do YOU think? Please, if you’re feeling this collection – by all means defend it. I want to know the reason people like Marchesa, because I just don’t get it.

I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.

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