Oh you just know when something like the American Music Awards pops-up, I’m bound to have a Worst Dressed List the very next day. What can I say, as much as I yearn for killer fashion on the acting red carpets, I long for whacked-out fashion from the music world. In fact, I was literally crushed Katy Perry wasn’t in attendance because poking fun at her red carpet ensembles has become like sport! (She did look awesomely weird while accepting an award via video, naturally.)

While it did crush me that power-hitters like Gaga, Miley and Rhianna weren’t in attendance…we did have another Cyrus, some Kardashians and a naked lady. Okay, it wasn’t all horrible. There are loads of favorite looks on my Best Dressed List, but let’s forget about those for a minute and embrace what really matters: the bad!

I do not know who Mary Lambert is really, but I like to believe she IS a nice person. And to me, nice people deserve clothes that fit. This blue number looks physically painful to wear, not to mention poorly constructed. Her shoes are also really, really a bad choice.

Another non-favorite of the night belongs to Danica McKeller, whose name you probably don’t know. Instead, you probably know Danica as Winnie Cooper – aka the girl of Kevin Arnold’s dreams in the 90s classic The Wonder Years. I haven’t quite figured out what she was doing at the American Music Awards but I do know a dress that starts off resembling something you’d see in the Miss America Pageant is an immediate no. Also, someone needs to clear poor Winnie from the seaweed infested net she’s somehow gotten caught in.

There’s pretty much always a lady in a naked-dress at these things, and this time that lady was Bleona Qereti. I wasn’t sure who she was but after learning she’s a star of BRAVO, everything somehow makes sense. Honestly, I think when someone shows up in a dress like this they’re hoping for attention and to land on Worst Dressed lists. Frankly, it takes commitment to bare yourself like that and I say she’s earned it! So here you are Bleona, a coveted spot on a Worst Dressed list. Merry Christmas!

Oh and Kylie Jenner was at the American Music Awards in Alexander Vauthier, whose name she didn’t know how to pronounce..at all. This might be an unpopular opinion but I’m honestly not a fan of satin slip dresses with ruching. I know they’re classic to some but to me they always come off as a cop-out. Also, is anyone else worried by the lack of education for this 16 year old girl? I seriously want to mail her some flashcards and textbooks. She obviously isn’t spending much time studying.

Dianna Agron reminded me that Glee is still a thing when she showed up to the AMAs in Marchesa…and I don’t like it. Call me crazy, but the milkmaid look Marchesa constantly tries to pull-off should really stop. Paired with a bad dress, the poor girl has pretty bad hair and makeup. I suspect that ‘edgy’ was the look they were going for, but instead Dianna looks like she’s a legally blonde version of Bellatrix LeStrange of the Harry Potter series. No disrespect to Harry Potter! 😉

While Miley Cyrus wasn’t in attendance, her younger sister Noah Cyrus was there. I think what ruins her look for me (other than the posture) is styling of her hair. It’s a very ornate laced romper you have on there Noah! And it might actually be really nice! Next time, wear your hair up – or at the very least BACK – so it’s not competing for attention. (It’s almost like her hair is the antithesis of Miley’s hair, no?)

Maybe the best surprise of the night was that Starr Jones somehow made her way onto the AMA red carpet. I haven’t heard or thought about Starr in a long while so I was elated to see her in all her over-the-top glory! Minimal is definitely not the look Starr is ever going for and this was beautifully spastic, complete with red feather shoes as the cherry on top!

Uzo Aduba and Carolina Herrera are such nice women, that I feel sad I didn’t like this more. No disrespect to either, but what ruins this dress IS what they probably thought ‘made it’. If this was jet black velvet, I’d like it. I like the cut and the length quite a bit, but the stars take this from a classic look to something you’d find at Hogwarts. (Though not on Bellatrix Lestrange. Perhaps Sybil Trelawney would wear this in between tea leaf readings?

So there we have it, my Worst Dressed list of the 2014 American Music Awards. I do have several folks on my Best Dressed List that you should definitely cleanse your palette with. Black was certainly the trend of the night and while here it didn’t quite work, it did go smashingly well for the likes of Fergie, Selena Gomez and more!

Who made your Best & Worst Dressed Lists of the AMAs?

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