7 ways to stop being hard on yourself and break the habit of negative self-talk, because in reality — you’re already pretty awesome!
How many times a day do you catch yourself having negative thoughts about yourself? Looking in the mirror you might cringe at a blemish or feeling like your pants are too tight.
How often do you feel like no matter what or how much you’re doing — it’s not enough? That if only you could miraculously get more time in the day and had xyz resources, everything would be golden! Except in reality that golden state is a false illusion that doesn’t exist.
Do you ever find yourself scrolling social media and comparing your circumstances to someone else – thinking, “Gosh, Becky really has it all together whereas my life is a complete mess.” And sure, some really do have it a bit more together than others but the reality is? We’re taught to be hard on ourselves because it’s a business and you only need to look at the multi-billion dollar self-improvement industry to know that’s true.
But what if you are already great?
What if you are doing enough or maybe even MORE than enough?
What if you stopped putting yourself on the receiving end of negative thoughts and started lifting up and showing yourself support the same way you would a loved one?
After catching myself in another spout of self-doubt, I realized that how I see and relate to myself is very different from how I am to others. Which is just stupid! Why is it so easy to offer love and support to friends and family but so difficult to extend that same generosity to ourselves?
Let’s amend to cut that bad habit out of our lives once and for all!
How to Stop Being Hard on Yourself
Negative thoughts and self-doubt are downsides of the human experience that truly get you no where. Here are ways to stop being hard on yourself and start building a better relationship with the most important person in your life — you!
Document Your Victories
With so much going on all the time, it’s easy to lose sight of progress made because before you can take inventory — you’re already onto the next thing. But probably the best piece of advice I can offer on how to stop being hard on yourself is to force yourself to reflect on how far you’ve come. Sure, you might not yet be where you want to be but think of where you were a year ago? Or two years ago. We are constantly growing and evolving as people and while there is a lot of pressure to keep going and growing — it’s also important to acknowledge (and celebrate) the progress you’ve already made.
Get a journal and start documenting your victories. It doesn’t have to be a long drawn out essay, but brief benchmarks that you can look back on when you’re feeling low to remember you have achieved a lot already.
Talk To Yourself As You Would a Friend
Ever notice how quick we are to step up, defend and show support to friends and family members who are experiencing difficult times but for whatever reason that same love doesn’t trickle down to ourselves?
When you spot self-doubt mounting, ask yourself honestly what would you say to a friend in the same situation? Odds are you would offer words of encouragement and remind them that they’re already pretty awesome. Package that kindness up and give it to yourself!
Sometimes our self-centered ego gets in our way. We intensify things in our minds to the point where all sense of reality is gone and when that happens? It’s time to serve yourself a slice of humble pie.
Get out of your head and get perspective. Odds are, things aren’t as bad as they seem and if they are bad — recognize that they really can always be worse.
Cancel Each Negative Thought with Three Positive Ones
Here’s one I’ve been practicing throughout the year and while it definitely sounds and feels cheesy? It works! Stop being hard on yourself by replacing every negative thought you have with three positive ones. Rewire your brain and train out negativity.
Remember: Mistakes are Tools for Improvement
Have you ever felt like you really bombed at something? Well, congratulations! It turns out you are human and not a robot. Mistakes happen but it’s important to remember that without making mistakes — you’ll never know how to improve. The mistakes are the lesson!
Find an Outlet
Be it through an intense workout at the gym, a creative project or even journaling — stop being hard on yourself by redirecting that energy into a positive outlet.
Surround Yourself by Positive People and Eliminate the Negative
The phrase “misery loves company” is one that is sadly quite true. And negativity is like a fire than can spread rapidly if unchecked.
Diffuse the situation and stop being hard on yourself but retreating from negativity. Surround yourself by those who think positive, offer encouragement and want you to succeed in the same way you want them to succeed as well.
Thank you for reading! I really hope these tips help you stop being hard on yourself and practice a bit of self-kindness instead.
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