The one where I share and apply tips I’ve learned on how to be badass – plain and simple.
I swear the idea for this post has been percolating in my mind for a few weeks now, but in the aftermath of such an inspiring International Women’s Day – it only seems that much MORE appropriate to talk about being a female badass.
Here’s the thing, recently I read a book entitled You are a Badass – How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero.
And, with a title like that, how could I NOT read it?
So, I made a cup of tea and buckled down – ready to embark on an enlightening journey of wisdom that would introduce me to my badass self.
Kelly, meet badass Kelly. Like you, she’s tall, creative and a little bit facetious. The difference? Unlike you she completely has her shit together. I mean, TOGETHER!
Seriously, I couldn’t wait to meet her.
Ready for an Aha! Moment
I know you remember Oprah and her aha! moments. Well, it’s been a crummy few months and I felt like I was in for a BIG plate of aha. Pouring over the book I sat primed and ready to discover my inner badass. Today? I’m giving you the Cliff Note’s version. You know, to save you some time and help you get straight down the point.
It’s also been a few weeks since I’ve finished the book and I’m gonna weigh in on how I’m applying Jen’s tips to my everyday life and the actions I’m taking to usher in my inner badass. Right now, I’d classify myself as a “badass in training”. Maybe with some training wheels. But generally speaking, the key to tapping into your badass self is re-evaluating your relationship with yourself. Which takes me to….Jen’s big AHA declaration:
YOU are Getting in YOUR Way
In her book You are a Badass, Jen Sincero is pretty quick to point out that the only person who is getting in the way of you achieving your biggest dreams and ambitions is yourself.
Whether it’s your fear, your attitude, your subconscious, your energy…notice that it’s all relating back to you. In general, Jen focuses a lot on tapping into your personal energy and how the energy that makes us is a resource that should be used for good, not bad. Which I know sounds like a total no brainer, but when I started to think about the conversations I have with myself…it quickly started to sink in that Jen was right.
But the good news is, since it is ultimately YOU that is getting in your way…the solution boils down to working on you. That’s where the retraining of your relationship with yourself comes in and from there, I’m gonna start breaking down Jen’s biggest how to be badass tips and the actions I’m taking to make good on them.
How to be Badass Tip #1: Think Positive to Be Positive
In You are a Badass, Jen speaks A LOT about energy and spiritual guidance. Now, I’ve been doing yoga for ages and have been regularly meditating for about two years now. In all of that time spent tapping into my core energy though, I haven’t always been the best at propelling that positive energy through my every day life and activities. It’s like I have these static moments of self-love and appreciation, then get back to my usual “Ugh, me” dialogue. That being said, for me, I have found that watching films and television shows about women owning their identity and embracing their sexuality has made it easier for me to think more positively. I have a few friends in the LGBTQ+ community and they always tell me how empowering it is to see themselves represented on screen. Above all, finding characters that you can resonate with can be particularly freeing.
You may have heard of another little book out there with the same guiding principle: The Secret. It’s that idea that you need to consistently put out positive energy to attract positive energy.
Your vibe attracts your tribe, yes. But, it also attracts basically everything else thereafter.
Jen lays out that we very clearly need to start with ourselves as HOME BASE. So often, we think positive things about others…yet don’t share those positive thoughts about ourselves. That’s got to change if we ever expect anything to change for the better.
Badass Action I’m Taking:
As a badass in training, I’m not letting myself get away with being a total bitch to myself anymore. Nope. Jen recommends not just thinking kindness to yourself, but verbalizing it. She also recommends starting first thing in the morning. So, now? Every morning I am smiling at myself in the mirror and working to retrain that negative voice to say, “You look great and ARE great.”
Sad confession? For about the first week of this practice, I kind of inwardly twinged as though my body was instinctively doubting the message. Which takes me to the next tip….
How to be Badass Tip #2: Call Out Your Subconcious
You are a Badass talks about how we can want great things in the present, but subconsciously decide we don’t deserve them and therefore unwittingly sabotage ourselves.
One example Jen shared was the idea of a person who is consciously working to lose weight and lead a healthy lifestyle, but subconsciously believes they don’t deserve love and therefore builds a barrier around him/herself as a form of protection.
Reading this, the concept of subliminally rejecting our ambitions started to make A LOT of sense both about myself – and others in my life. Last year, I attended a fascinating seminar on emotional trauma. The instructor tapped into a similar idea that we can grow and move beyond life incidents, but deep down they can hold the power to drive and alter our behavior.
So, what do you do when your subconscious is screwing you? Confront it.
At this point, Jen thankfully stepped in with a meaningful solution: to confront your subconscious repeatedly with a counter message at every turn. Tell yourself repeatedly you do deserve love, you’re safe, you deserve happiness, etc. In time, the power of a consistently positive conscious mind can start to resolve issues in a negative subconscious.
Did you know that being badass would call upon so much psychology? I certainly didn’t, but it’s all starting to make sense to me now.
Badass Action I’m Taking
It seems, I have a subconscious belief that I don’t deserve success. No need to go through all the history behind that, but I’m combating this negative subliminal belief by telling myself I am great and I deserve great things.
On Women’s Day, I shared a post on Hillary Clinton and one of her quotes is great for this. “Never doubt you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance in the world to fulfill your dreams.”
In fact, I like that quote so much I think I’m going to design it into an infographic and print it out. (Stay tuned, because I’ll likely share it on my Twitter.)
How to be Badass Tip #3: Express Gratitude for the Positives
In keeping with your new mantra of positive vibes, both externally and internally – Jen’s next tip was to begin a daily ritual to reflect upon, recognize and express gratitude for the positives. If your positive energy is translating to positive change, document that. If someone said or did something kind for you, recognize that. If something just made you feel very happy that day, celebrate it. The idea is to routinely acknowledge and appreciate the positives as a means of keeping up the momentum. Plus, it’s generally just quite nice.
To help make it a permanent part of your day, Jen suggested keeping a daily gratitude journal and spending fives minutes every evening writing out the positives of the day. This concept IMMEDIATELY made me think of the 5-Minute Journal, which I’ve heard so many great things. People rave that the 5- minute journal has truly made a positive impact in the life. Once again, all the psychology started to click in place and next thing you know I started a journal of my very own.
Badass Action I’m Taking:
That’s right, upon Jen’s suggestion I promptly started a daily gratitude journal to record the positives. On most days, I write in a list – but, sometimes I will elaborate more if it feels particularly special. So I don’t forget, I keep my “Book of Gratitude” right at my bedside so before I turn off the light for bed, I go aha! – I need to journal my thank yous.
I’m sure you’re gonna think I’m really going out on a limb here and am drunk on fairy kool-aid, but after a few weeks I have to say it’s making a big difference. Not only does it give you the chance to feel happy over the good things that happened, it also is a great way to put yourself in a positive frame of mine while drifting off to sleep. (If you suffer from anxiety or insomnia, I especially recommend starting a gratitude journal.)
How to be Badass Tip #4: Grant Yourself Permission to be Proud
Away from the book and onto a video that really caught my attention this week. Louise Pentland is a successful, self-made business women and best-selling author who many of you probably know.
In a BRILLIANT video, this week she called herself out for being embarrassed to be proud of herself.
We have to stop leaving ourselves out of the equation. We have to start being proud of ourselves. We have to squash the instinct to be quiet and mousy, perfectly staying in our lane as not to seem too pushy or full of ourselves. If we want to support strong women, we have to start by supporting ourselves.
Oh, I could probably write on for ages about this but I’ll just let Louise takeover.
Watch her very enlightening video and share it with the ladies in your life:
Continuing On into the Badass Horizon
Genuinely, I have to extend a thank you to Jen Sincero for penning You are a Badass. It’s been a while since I’ve read a motivational book and I think she offered some very perceptive information and ideas on how to be badass and stop standing in your own way. Here’s a link to the book on Amazon for you to fully explore her vision.
Of course, we’re all human and we’re bound to have slip ups. Or cave and let our badass female selves feel a bit negative for a moment. But, I think Jen’s guiding principle of working to keep up the positive energy so it will flow in every aspect of your life – not just on the yoga mat – is both simple and groundbreaking. It’s a duh and an aha! moment at the same time. But as the saying “easier said than done” goes, you have to really work to keep the positive momentum going.
I hope you were able to gain an idea or two from this post on how you can start making positive changes in your life. We can be badasses in training together.
Here’s to the positive vibes!
Want more positive vibes? In case you missed it, read my Women’s Day post with more inspiration, here.
Stay stylish and keep chasing your dreams!